Saturday, August 31, 2013

Earthly Treasures

A friend recently sent me a unique news story out of Las Vegas. On June 27, homeowner Terence Delucia received a 6:20 AM visit from a couple of Mormon missionaries. After gaining access to Mr. Delucia’s home, they briefly discussed salvation before beating him at gunpoint and demanding to know where he kept his valuables. They absconded from his home with $3,000 in cash, three iPads, and one iPod. 

The suspects, described as one white male and one black male between the ages of 22-28, apparently dress in the white shirt / black trousers combo often associated with the door-to-door mission work of the Mormon church in order to gain access to people’s homes. Authorities do not believe they are affiliated in any way with Mormonism and have issued a reward for information leading to their capture.
The Suspects
I find myself somewhat conflicted when I hear something like this because while I detest aggravated robbery, it is refreshing to see budding young criminals put some thought into their craft. Any degenerate can pistol whip a homeowner, but it takes aptitude to do so while successfully impersonating a member of the LDS church. Keep in mind, these enterprising future inmates were on the job wearing neckties at 6:00 AM on a Thursday. I consider myself an upstanding citizen and I have never been that well-dressed that early in the morning.  

I also thought it was nice that they continued the charade for several minutes before relieving Mr. Delucia of his liquid assets and Apple devices. I wonder how they worked that transition:

Hello sir, my name is Brad and this is my associate David and we would like to take a few minutes of your time to discuss eternity. May I ask your name?

Terence Delucia.

Mr. Delucia, where would a man like you store his “treasures”?

Well, I suppose the scripture tells us that a man’s treasure is in heaven but I must admit that I am as guil….

Yeah that’s great (producing handgun) how about you point me in the direction of your Earthly treasures before my companion helps you locate some blood in your urine.

I also found a silver lining in the ethnicity of the suspects. In the wake of the George Zimmerman trial, it is reassuring to see racial harmony and cooperation even if it is within the context of felony assault. While the media would have us believe that distrust between Caucasians and African-Americans is steadily increasing, we should allow these two young men to remind us that given a common purpose we can still overcome the petty differences that threaten to tear us apart.

I do feel sorry for Mr. Delucia. Not only does he get worked over by a couple of thugs, it appears he was actually open to the idea of spiritual intervention. After all, why else would he agree to open his home for a pair of unannounced visitors that early in the morning? Now he may never again have an opportunity to discuss the ultimate fate of his soul because of this traumatic experience. Just the sound of an alter call or the sight of  BYU t-shirt might send him into a violent rage   In fact, if I were in the Nevada chapter of the Jehovah’s Witness I would go ahead and mark his residence off my list.

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