Wednesday, June 9, 2010

If at First You Don't Suceed...Take off your pants.


I recently read a story about a unique business operated by Omaha’s Kia Carroll. She was having trouble drumming up clients for her home cleaning service known as “Odd’z and En’z Janitorial” because many felt that $85 was too steep to have someone come to their home and operate a vacuum cleaner. So Kia decided to give her clients some options.
For $250, your maid will clean your home without her top (or bottom) on; toss in an extra $50 and she will sanitize your humble abode in the buff. Ms. Carroll has stated repeatedly that her service is not affiliated with prostitution and insists that she simply wishes to separate herself from her competitors by offering unique services.
Much of the town is beside themselves (for one reason or another) and it appears that Kia is operating in a legal gray area since the employees  are hired maids that happen to be nude and not hired nudes that happen to be maids. Either way, I have no doubt the service will provide some interesting conversations:
Wife: “Terry, why is there a naked woman Swiffering the guest bathroom?”
Husband: *clears throat* “Is she naked? I hadn’t really noticed. I was just having the house cleaned for your birthday….”
Wife: “Really? Because the invoice seems to indicate that you paid extra for the Panties & Pine-Sol special.”
Husband: *begins to panic* “Well, you should just be glad I talked her down from the Scrubbing-Bubbles & Juicy-Doubles high roller package.”
 Wife: “Well maybe she can keep your soon-to-be-acquired studio apartment clean after the divorce.”

The whole concept got me thinking about businesses that should NEVER offer nudity as an enhancement to their existing services:
·         Sears Auto Center – I am not sure that a naked mechanic wielding an under-maintained air-ratchet is worth an extra $50 for a tire rotation. 
·         The Waffle House – Let’s just be honest; you want as many fabric barriers as possible between the wait staff and your BLT.
·         Car Mart – And you thought it was awkward when they accompanied you on the test drive before...
·         Geek Squad – none of these guys turned down modeling contracts to work in IT.
·         Baseball Catchers – One wild pitch + one crouched player = two full years of grief counseling
·         Congress – most of them already have a tough time keeping their pants on as it is. On the plus side, the threat of a filibuster would be twice as effective.

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