Sunday, November 20, 2011

That's So Raven!


This is the story of a young man we will call “Reggie.” Reggie, a happy-go-lucky Arizona resident, was surfing the Internet one day when he began chatting with a young woman named Rebecca who resided in Milwaukee. After several online exchanges, Reggie felt compelled to make a pilgrimage to Wisconsin in order to meet his new acquaintance. So, after bidding his friends and family farewell, he climbed aboard a bus and rode almost 2,000 miles before finally arriving at the apartment of his lady friend.

Two days later, a bloodied and beaten Reggie stumbled out of that same apartment and made a frantic call to the police. When authorities arrived on the scene, they found Reggie suffering from a multitude of cuts, lacerations, and stab wounds. Once transported to the hospital, doctors estimate he had sustained at least 300 separate injuries on his torso, neck, and face.

When questioned about his experience, Reggie claimed that their first meeting had gone along swimmingly until Rebecca and her roommate Raven requested to restrain him for some carnal recreation. After agreeing to this somewhat unusual request, Reggie alleges that the girls sadistically tortured him with knives for two days before he was able to extricate himself from the restraints and call police.

Upon searching Rebecca’s apartment, police discovered duct tape and rope covered with large quantities of blood and other DNA evidence. They also noticed some unusual reading material including: The Necromantic Ritual Book and The Werewolf’s Guide to Life. Rebecca insists that the cutting was consensual at first, but that things had quickly gotten out of hand. Both women were detained on “suspicion of reckless injury” charges.
Rebecca & Raven

First of all, incidents like this would not have been possible without white people in the principle roles. At the risk of offensive generalization, how many copies of “The Necromantic Ritual Book” do you think they sell at the Compton Barnes & Noble? Every time I read a story concerning witchcraft or the occult, it always seems to involve middle-class Caucasian adolescents who cannot seem to find more constructive ways of filling their time than armchair sorcery.

What is even more troubling is that lack of commitment. Even their selection of satanic literature showed little imagination or research. Just a periphery glance at the online reviews would tell you that Forbidden Rites: A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century is a far superior in both scope and detail than The Necromantic Ritual Book. While I am at it, just how “dark” are you when you pattern your ritualistic ceremonies after a paperback you purchase from Amazon.com? Can you imagine the conversation at that week’s coven social:

“When will that ritualistic animal slaughter book be here? We really need it before the demonic craft fair.”
“I just checked my account, and they say it hasn’t shipped yet.”
“Dammit Rebecca! If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times to sign up for Prime so that we do not have another black mass homecoming fiasco on our hands.”

Secondly, men are stupid. There is only one reason a dude would be willing to spend his own money for the privilege of riding thirty hours on a crowded bus to meet a girl, and it has nothing to do with her sense of humor. I also do not doubt Rebecca’s claim that Reggie agreed to the restraints. In fact, I am fairly certain that Reggie stopped listening after he heard, “my roommate and I want to tie you up and take turns doing unspeakable things to your body.” Only later did he realize that “unspeakable things” referred to stabbing him repeatedly with the decorative cutlery set they had acquired at Target.

I wonder when the internal struggle between his intellect and his hormones began to tip in favor of the former. I am guessing that moment occurred somewhere around the second hour of his ordeal, about the time he realized it was going to take more than a tube of Neosporin to erase the memories of his first visit to the Badger State.

I suppose he is fortunate that he lived to tell the tale, and I wonder if the girls will be convicted of anything. Perhaps young Reginald has learned that allowing yourself to be imprisoned by an emotionally-disturbed stranger you met on GothHookup4Real.com can lead to some unpleasant experiences. At the very least, he should save himself the excruciating two day trip and locate emotionally disturbed young women in the southwest.  From the police description of the scene, the only thing we know for certainty is that Rebecca and Raven will not be getting their security deposit back.  

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