Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tiger Woods: Lesson of the Week


Lately we have been inundated by the plight of golfer Tiger Woods, whose late night Escalade adventures quickly snowballed into allegations of widespread infidelity that border on “mistress whack-a-mole.”

I use Tiger Woods not because he is a terrible person, but because he publicly exemplified one of the reasons that guys are very stupid.

You are a young man and God looks down on you and says, “What do you want me to give you to make you happy?”

You quickly answer, “I want a blonde Swedish bikini-model to be my wife”

God says “Done!”

Then you say, “I hate to push my luck, but could I also be sinfully wealthy in order to pamper said Sweedish model?”

God says “No Problem!”

You continue, “Would it also be possible for me to make all of this money by playing golf instead of working long hours or risking my own investment capital?”

God says, “You got it!”

You forge ahead, “Could my conjugal relations with my wife produce two beautiful children on whom I could lavish the finer things in life?”

God replies “Why not!”

A few years pass and God checks up on you to see how things are progressing. You two are sitting on the porch drinking a delicious Snapple and you look to God and say: “The money, wife, kids, and career are wonderful; but would it also be possible for me to have secret hotel sex with a cocktail waitress I met a few weeks ago? “

God proceeds to choke on his bottle of Mango Madness, and after regaining his composure answers “Why do you want that?”

And you answer, “Because I don’t have it....”

1 comment:

  1. Amen! Is it not sad that we are never satisfied with the blessings we already have.

    ReplyDelete